Anti-smoking is bad for you

My first blog is going to be a big whinge completely unrelated to music. I like whinging, and the internet is the perfect place for it.

I read an article yesterday about a council in Southern England who decided to exclude smokers from any adoption scheme. The council person said something like: "Well, its quite obvious that a parent that smokes 60 a day is going to harm children's health. Of course we must protect the children etc....".

I confess to be a smoker, but not 60 a day, but more like 2. In fact, I think you'd be hard pushed to find someone who actually smokes that number without turning yellow within a week. Nonetheless, I am a smoker, and as a result I will be a bad parent. This goes alongside a host of ills that I allegedly have, like depression, stress, a floppy penis, a weak will, being anti-social, inability to taste food, bad breath (ok, fair enough), and worst of all, the inability to make decisions as a result of addiction. That's right, the righteous anti-smokers (let them be praised) of our country are helping us by making it easier for us to quit, since we are clearly beyond objective reasoning. They say smoking is more addictive than Cocaine, making smokers slightly more insane than Crack whores. Do not lend them your ear, or they might chew it off, mistaking it for a tabacco leaf.

I live in Scotland, where the smoking ban in places of work has been in force for some time. It has been welcomed, and largely it is a good idea, not for health reasons as is the argument in law, but because most people don't like the smell of smoke. People are honest about that, the lawmongers are not. The law cannot not distinguish between a donkey and a whale. Smoking shelters must be remodelled as it is encloses more than 75% of the 'building envelope'. Indeed, most bus shelters are not designed to dissipate smoke fumes, despite them being very open structures, so a non-smoking sign must be displayed at its entrance. Further, places where people have never smoked anyway, such as churches, must bear signs to clarify its non-smoking status (remember that God hates smokers?). St Paul's Cathedral will soon welcome tourists with the slogan "Christ teaches us love - Smoking not permitted, minimum fine £100".

So what I'm saying is that things can get taken too far. OK, smoking isn't good for your health, but neither is having your thumb stuck up your arse. Make no mistake, these laws are pushed and passed by people who are far too wound up, while smokers of a milder temperament let it slide. What I fear is that anti-smoking becomes anti-smoker, as anti-war becomes anti-american. As people push their thumbs further into their rectum, the more intolerant and insecure they will become, making big issues out of nothing. I warn the fair-minded - don't listen to them, otherwise it will be your thumb next. Instead, relax, have a cigarette, and enjoy life and death.